Wow. So much happening, I don’t know where to begin and really should be at the gym this instant!

I have lost [officially, since December] 25 pounds! (And have shape, muscle, sculpted this shit). What is so odd about it is that I don’t look entirely different to anyone who sees me on the regular. They wonder where the hell 25 pounds was hiding in the first place. I’ve dropped from a size 10 to a size 6, about a 28-inch waist (smallest of my life and where I feel comfortable/fit) and have more energy and vigor than ever before. I haven’t touched shitty foods in months and don’t crave them at all. Without the gym at LEAST 4 times (it’s been 5 times for 2 months) a week, I feel naked. I never in a TRILLIONOSCOPY years thought I would ever be fit like this and I cannot wait to keep it moving. New body photo shoots, showing up the boys at the UCF Rec Center. It’s been fun. I could not have done any of it without my extremely dedicated gym rat partner in reps, Mike. He is shy about accepting my gratitude, but I am conjuring up ways to express how much his efforts truly mean to me. 

Hope all is well with my people. Life is insane on this side of the tracks. (Good insane, like, mind-blowingly incredible). 

This will always be remembered as one of the most difficult nights of my adult life. I know that this is the right decision and I hope that in a few months I don’t regret this. And I hope that she finds happiness again, too. Here’s to moving the mountains on your chest and the anchor in your stomach. Be true to yourself and honest with others. Somehow, it works out.

Good crappy, yet potentially positive, night.

Got a head start on “resolutions” this year. I decided to start really implementing change in December so the idea of January 1st being the end of my vices wouldn’t be so daunting. It all seemed like it would be the usual self-fulfilled prophecy of either:

a) Not trying to live a better life.

b) Being content enough that I wouldn’t really work toward living a better life.

c) Forgetting to live a better life. [I know, how could you forget? Habit.]

These words: resolution, promises, goals…they are good, positive words. When I hear them, though, I find little spaces of hesitation or inferiority. Why not MAKE them part of your every single day. A commitment, lifestyle. These words don’t have those gaps of “what if” attached to them. Starting early gave me a leg up on the competition between me, myself and Irene. The semester starts and I have found a way to defeat that, “Welp, can’t do anything this year, I have five classes”, lame excuse. A few great things have been falling (or maybe I have pushed them) into place:

This has been my second home. The mission is covert. More on this later. 

Scored a part time guitar teaching gig. It keeps me busy on my days off from school while also paying for gas and (holy shit expensive) groceries. [*edit: I went to Freshfields Farm today. $60 for every fruit and vegetable on the planet including yuca…okay, not so expensive.] There’s also no better way to learn than to teach. I have no desire to have children but thoroughly love being a mentor (I would have been lost without mine) and passing on the enthusiasm for music. Perfect fit. 

Picked up covering the UCF women’s basketball team for the Central Florida Future. I began the resurrection of my college education tinkering with the idea of majoring in journalism. Once I realized I couldn’t stomach the box journalists are put in, I moved on. Writing for the paper, getting to conduct post game interviews with coaches and players, being sent on missions to acquire information to share with others all while getting my feet wet in the industry (without 60 credits of bullshit) has been eye opening and amazing. Resumé life builder. 

I could diary the hell out of this and post a photo for every time I shit myself while being at one of the most historical games in Celtics franchise history as they came back from a 27-point deficit for the first time in 16 years. Or about watching Ryan perform with a rapper by the name of C.O.L.A. and how much I love that kid. Meeting tons of incredible people and being the musician of choice to open up “The Vagina Monologues” in March. But, I don’t want to give too much away (and I should be writing for class instead of pleasure). Always grateful and full of energy. 

Bring it on, febrero.